Angels in Despair: The records of Rei Ayanami
by Traingham
Summary: Enter the World of Third Impact. Love and friendship is meaningless. Survival is the only thing on everyones mind. Shadows lurk in every corner and one young woman faces it all. Welcome to Rebirth...it isn't all that pretty.
1. Kickstart my Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters…

_**Angels in Despair : The records of Rei Ayanami  
**_

**_Chapter One: My shackles have been undone  
_**

_By Traingham_

* * *

The sky was red and, ominous with no source of light shining on the land below yet there was no darkness. Crosses descended, as did the remenants of the mass produced Eva's, plunging in to the sinister depths of the orange sea. Two people lay motionless on the shore as wave after wave of LCL pounded against the moist sand threatening to pull them in to the tide, but as the time passed there was some movement from one of them. She slowly opened her eyes as though awakening from a deep slumber and sat up almost immediately. Her eyes took in every detail of her surroundings but came to an ubrupt stop when a sinking form in the LCL came in to view.

"Is that me?" Rei asked herself as she stared at the eerily smiling face that slowly sank in the distance. The fact that the smiling face was indeed quite similar to her own made chills run through her skin. "That can't be me. I am myself, and no one else. I am here, and not there." After some reassurance the pale young woman stood up and turned her attention to the other person lying on the sand.

Her words came coldly as she narrowed her eyes. "_Lillith."_ For so long her purpose for living revolved around this one being who even now had the audacity to still linger on in this world after being dominated by another. The fact that this being had taken on her form made her slowly building anger burn in to an inferno. Rei loathed the very thought of her clones, and the person in front of her made her feel no different; if not even worse. An indescribably powerful urge struck the stoic angel and her hands suddenly had a life of their own as they clawed for Lilliths neck. Before Rei could even grasp a realization on what was happening her hands were wrapped around the other angels neck trying to extinguish the life that was already diminishing.

-_Leave me._- Rei began to plead in her mind as she increased the pressure on Lilliths neck. Suddenly Lilliths eyes shot open in terror and she began to grip Rei's hands in a desperate attempt to alleviate the pressure that was cutting off her life source, but the sight of her crimson eyes only made Rei squeeze harder! She felt something taking over every muscle in her body. She felt as though she was being possesed by some vengeful demon and she embraced it if it meant making Lillith disappear.

"S...to--ack" Lillith choked out. She began to flail her legs wildly in panic as she could feel herself fading but Rei was relentless in her attack and refused to stop. The second angel pounded the sand with her fist and squirmed even more but her efforts still didn't make a difference. She was helpless and she knew it but refused to accept it. She couldn't allow herself to be overcome by such a weak, inferior creature.

-_Go away.-_Rei pleaded harder as a single tear trailed down her face. Lillith's eye peirced her own as the angel's struggling got more erradic and desperate. She tried to shaked Rei off of her and kick at her but through it all Rei didn't budge at all. It was only a few seconds later, but it felt much like a lifetime to Rei before Lillith stopped moving under her, staring blankly in to the distance. The demon was finally gone...she was finally free from Lillith's clutches. She slowly got off of her victim with eyes wide in shock as she stared at what seemed to be a mirror image of herself.

"I am no longer under your control." Rei said quietly in the same tone of voice she used with her former commander. For the second time in her life Rei smiled as she turned away from Lilliths lifeless body, and stared out in to the horizon. What was left of this world was her own to explore; for her to make her own experiences and shape her own destiny. No longer was there another to guide her actions and keep her from what she wanted most but yet again there was still something that troubled her deep inside. She still felt some strange lingering feeling of emptiness giving her a terrible sensation in her chest. It felt heavy...and it was eating away at her soul.

"I still feel as though I have not completely severed this feeling of emptiness." She sat down staring at the sea beyond her. "I still feel...incomplete, but I...do not understand. What more do I need to satisfy myself?"

(("_This feeling that consumes you is loneliness._"))

"Loneliness?" Rei asked herself. "This feeling that has always been with me is loneliness? I recall another telling me this but why is it that I remember it now? I don't recall myself ever having a conversation with another about these things." She closed her eyes and pulled her legs toward her chest.

-Who is this person that I feel beyond me?- Rei thought to herself. After some time in silence she opened her eyes and looked towards the sky. "Why do you haunt me even now Ikari? It's...comforting and yet it only makes this feeling grow even deeper."

Unbeknowest to the young angel, even now thoughts of herself filled the mind of someone awakening on a shore far away.

A person who would soon be drawing her out to him...

Unfortunately a spark flickered in the darkness...an inferno would soon burn in its place.

**_To be continued..._**

_I've been really neglecting this fic but I think it's time I started to blow the dust off of it. I'm going to be making a few alterations to it for now so if it get's updated and there aren't any extra chapters you know why._

**_Traingham..._  
**


	2. Unpleasant Awakening

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters…

**_Angels in Despair: The records of Rei Ayanami  
_**

**_Chapter Two: Stepping in to 3I  
_**

_By Traingham_

* * *

**_3I Survival tip Number one: Your sanity may be at risk when awakening from rebirth. Try not to lose your mind._**

****

* * *

****

Asuka sat on the shore with here gaze transfixed on the sinking head of the final angel. As frightening as it would have been for others to see such an eerie sight it didn't bother her quite as much. The reason for this was not only because she had seen bizarre things similar to it, but also because at the moment she didn't give a damn about anything. Her companion Shinji Ikari almost murdered her a few minutes ago, and there wasn't another person to be seen. She was stuck with him, and at the moment all he seemed to care about was prying Misato's cross necklace out of a nearby tree.

-_Why the hell am I still alive? The last thing I remember is being attacked by those friekish Evas.- _Her last moments in the world before Third Impact were not too pleasnt. In fact it was the worst of all deaths during the attack from the JSSDF, and she had to face it all alone without anyone by her side. Asuka turned to face Shinji who just put on the necklace. His hands were scraped and bleeding but it didn't seem to phase him at all.

"So what now idiot?" Asuka asked Shinji; her voice lacking all emotion. Shinji didn't answer immediately, but settled down next to her stroking the cross hanging from the chain around his neck as he remembered his last meeting with Misato Katsuragi.

"We have to find any other survivors." Shinji replied quietly. Rei and Kawaru told him that other people would appear soon so he wa determined to find _them_. To find Misato, and the rest of his friends.

"Thats all?" Asuka asked, a deep dark expression washing over her face.

"For now." Shinji replied, never expecting what was to happen next. Asuka suddenly whipped her right arm back and struck him with a back hand. He fell to the ground and Asuka pinned both his arms and got on top of him, disabling him from moving at all. The look on her face as he stared back at her burning blue eyes, full of anger and madness beyond compare.

"What the hell Asuka?" Shinji yelled in confusion. He would have tried harder to get the german pilot off of him but her eyes were so intense, and they had him parylyzed in fear.

"Why don't you just finish me off Shinji?" Asuka asked with a growl. She grabbed on to both of Shinji's hands with a steel grip and forced them around her neck. "You were going to do it before weren't you? Just squeeze, and it'll all be over!"

"Asuka stop! I don't want to kill you Asuka!" Shinji yelled trying to snatch his hands away from her own, but she held on tight. Her finger nails were starting to dig deep in to his wrists, trembling with the feelings that were swirling within her. "We need to stay together if we're going to live through this!" He finally overpowered the german girl and slipped his hands out from under her own. Asuka almost went for his neck but she had no time to react when Shinji unexpectedly wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her close to him.

"What...are you doing?!" Asuka screamed trying to pull away from him but he held on tight. He was not willing to let her go if she was going to continue act this way. He knew all about her past thanks to Misato, and he understood this was her way of accepting "rejection". Her mother did do the same thing to her after all, and he was doing the same to her moments ago when she had just been reborn.

"Just calm down Asuka. We're going to get through this together." Shinji told her, his voice beggining to waver.

"Together?" She asked in a weak voice, her struggling gradually coming to a halt. The way he spoke to her calmed her down.

"That's right."

Asuka was at a loss for words when he replied and she could almost feel her eyes burning with tears. "Heh...this is too funny." she mumbled as an unbelieving grin crossed her lips.

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked worriedly.

"I'm being saved by you again."

"Uh...alright." Shinji replied hesitantly, not knowing what to say at the moment.

"You're such an idiot."

* * *

**_Turning away from the two pilots..._**

Rei sighed and leaned against a nearby garbage dumpster. She had been walking for hours already and so far she's seen nobody at all. The only improvement so far was that she found a place for herself to rest and recooperate. She spied a store nearby and walked over to it to check it out. The door was locked when she tried to open it so her only option was to break in.

"This store should have more than enough supplies to last me a few months." Rei said to no one in particular as she stared through the window. She pressed her palms against it and concentrated her energy in the center, but to her confusion nothing happened. She raised an eyebrow, and concentrated again but there was still no effect. "My AT-Field is still too weak." She turned around and spotted some debri on the ground. She picked up a rather jagged chunk of rock and turned back towards the window before holding it over her head in preperation to strike. She brought the rock hard against the window causing it to crack, but the force was not enough to shatter it. She held it over her head once more to strike it again but something inside caught her attention.

"Something just moved in there." Rei said on full alert. She peered through the window to get a better look but it seemed as though whatever was in there hid itself. "It may be human...or something else." She tapped the window expecting a reaction from whatever was in there, but there was no response at all.

-_It's probably waiting for me._- Rei thought before holding the rock over her head. She was prepared to take a chance at meeting what was inside, but she suddenly stopped a second time when she saw something in the reflection. She looked towards the outskirts of the city, and saw two orbs gleaming in the sun belonging to a figure holding something in its hand.

-_What is that?_- Rei saw the figure hold up what was in its hand and point it at her. Whatever it was holding gleamed in the sun...it must have been made of some sort of meta-

**BANG!**

Rei wasted no time in hitting the ground when she heard the gunshot ring through the air. She coughed after inhaling some of the dirt that whipped up from her fall, and started to get up but she heard another gunshot and instinctively rolled to the right. The bullet hit the ground near her confirming to her that the person was indeed aiming at her. Rei sprinted behind the store and steadied her heart beat. This was definitely something she was not expecting.

"A rifle? Where were they able to attain that?" Rei gasped before coughing again. Her mind was still spinning from the sudden pump of adreneline that was circulating through her body. "Who is that?"

**_To be continued..._**


	3. Duel with the unknown assailant

Disclaimer: Yes, I am just like all you other writers in regards to the fact that I do not own Evangelion or any of it's characters...I believe I just made myself feel terrible...

_**Angels in Despair: The records of Rei Ayanami  
**_

**_Chapter Three: First Encounter with the rogue Soldier  
_**

_By Traingham_

* * *

_**3I Survival tip number two: Your are faced with an armed assailiant. Your best selection for action is to put distance between yourself and said advisary.**_

* * *

Some more bullets bounced off the corner of the store confirming Rei's suspicion about her mysterious advisary not being gone. The person paused a few moments ago from their fire almost convincing the young angel that the coast was clear, but she did not allow herself to be so easily fooled. She looked to her left observing her options, but unfortunately the nearest source of cover was the other buildings across the street and that left her open to a spray of bullets. 

Rei sighed and took another quick peek of her assailiant showing her that they weren't so shy about coming any closer. The person was wearing a model of black combat gear similar to the ones that were worn by the infiltrating soldiers of the JSSDF. The only difference with this model was that it seemed to be made for desert conditions and instead of wearing a small combat knife at the waist the person wore a large knife similar to a machete slightly swinging back and forth as they approached the city.

"That person is well equipped." Rei observed keeping her eyes on the rifle in the persons hand. She saw the assailant aim the rifle at her again, and she pulled back before he let the lead fly in her direction, shattering the store window in to shards. The time for observing was now past, and the time for action had come. Rei concentrated on her At-Field, and made a dash for the buildings across the street. Just as expected her attacker let loose again barely missing her before she disappeared in to an alley. Rei inwardly wanted to curse herself for being so vunerable.

_This isn't too promising._ the young angel thought looking at her hands in worry. _My field is still to weak to bring out. That last attack could have ended me instantly._ She ran towards the end of the alley and turned left at the bisection before peeking back the way she came. Bullets nearly missed her making her think twice about ever doing that again. She saw a few strands of her blue hair lightly land on the ground and narrowed her eyes in aggitation. "This person is irritating me."

Rei heard her assailant's footsteps coming closer and made a run for it. This made her pursuer do the same making Rei run even faster. Two beating drums were heard in the alleys as the both of them pumped their legs leaving dust in their tracks. A few rounds were fired and Rei rolled forward before getting back to her feet and continuing her escape. Two paths lied ahead and her mind was indecisive about which on to take. Another round was shot missing her leg by a few centimeters and she nearly jumped from fright. She took the right path, jumping over the debri that was in her way. She stole a glance over her shoulder and saw the soldier right on her tail. He jumped over the debri as well and reached out to grab her.

"Off!" Rei cried out when he managed to tug on her shirt. She slapped his hand away causing some energy to crackle between them. The soldier pulled back from being shocked and got his rifle in position to take another shot. Rei saw another corner and sprinted in to it before she could get caught in another volley of rounds but to her dismay she found herself at a dead end where a gate blocked her path. She ran to it and tried to open it, shaking it with what strength she had left in her but to no avail it was impentrable.

"Please Ikari-kun, leave me in peace for the moment." Rei whispered to herself as she turned to face her assailant. For reasons she couldn't comprehend the thought of seeing Shinji's face became irresistably strong. The last thing she needed was for such desires to cloud her mind at this crucial point in time when hope seemed to be scarcely available.

Rei looked in to the eyes of her pursuer which were barely visible behind the red tinted lenses of the goggles concealing them, and saw nothing but a cold calculating stare. She prepared to dodge any gunfire as the mystery man aimed his rifle at her, but to her surprise all that was heard was a mettalic click. The man didn't seem to be as surprised, however, simply tossing the useless rifle on the ground before reaching for the blade at his side.

The man cackled menacingly before unclipping the sheath for the blade and pulling it out slowly as if to mock Rei. Then in a swift motion he went for a final strike, slashing at Rei but in a feat unimaginable she managed to expand her At-Field at that very moment, shattering the glinting blade and knocking her attacker off his feet. She stared at her hands with eyes widened in shock, but immediately narrowed them imperceptibly before concentrating for another strike of her own! The man got to his feet quickly and tossed the hilt of his blade at her to distract her before making a run towards her, but Rei dodged the incoming projectile and jolted him with a weak field.

It wasn't what she intended, but it still did the job seeing as how the man was sent hurtling backwards before crashing in to the ground. Rei felt light headed after discharging the field, but she continued to concentrate on her At-Field to finish the man off. He, however was not such a fool, and took the young angel's moment of weakness as a chance for him to retreat. He rolled backwards on to his feet, and turned to escape taking the path he came to leave.

Rei saw him take his leave and stopped concentrating, allowing the full extent ofher dizziness to overcome her senses. The last thing she got a glimpse of before darkness overtook her was the face of a penguin peeking at her from the corner of the alley.

**_To be continued..._**


	4. Bleeding Ignorance

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters…

_**Angels in Despair: The records of Rei Ayanami  
**_

**_Chapter Four: Meeting a familiar face  
_**

_By Traingham_

* * *

_**3I Survival tip number three:**_ _**The only hope for progression is to find others to join your party. Comrades are essential for a lasting life.**_

* * *

_  
_

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**_

There was a figure standing in the distance of the misty fog. It looked very familiar, but Rei was feeling so disoriented that just trying to concentrate felt painful. The figure approached her slowly, but stopped just far enough for her to not be able to make out their facial features. The pale blue angel squinted her eyes slightly before feeling a pain shoot through the back of her head, and relaxed to soothe herself. She couldn't make out the person, but even now she was feeling some sort of tranquil aura eminating from them.

"Hello there first child." the figure greeted with a bow. "I can see that you're holding up so far in this new world. That confrontation must have taken quite a bit out of you seeing as how your spirit is still weak from your assimilation with Lillith."

"Who are you?" Rei asked weakly.

"I feel that doesn't matter at the moment young one. What I am here for is to tell you that I wish you luck on this quest you have embarked on. Make no mistake first child, this world is not all that different from it's original state however change has taken effect. You will be challenged, and you will not be expected to succeed. No, in fact you will be expected to fail by the very people who once praised you to." The figure turned around to walk away, but not before saying, " Failure does not necessarily kill a person. Rather it is the temptation to give in to failure that plunges a soul in to despair, and death. Remember this child, and live on."

"Live on." Rei repeated to herself as she watched the figure walk away. She made no attempt to chase the figure, and it would have been a waste anyway because the mist disappeared along with the figure, and in it's place took the form of the alley way she collapsed in, but something was different. She felt something cold resting on her forehead, and took it in her left hand to examine it.

"An ice pack?" Rei questioned before looking up to see a penguin blinking at her before cocking it's head to the side. Rei's eyes widened in realization. "The Katsuragi pet. Does this mean that Major Katsuragi is nearby?" Rei asked before getting her answer unexpectedly. She heard something move, and looked past the penguin to find a hazelnut haired girl with pigtails walking in her direction very quickly with a jug of water. It wasn't who she expected, but it was a welcoming sight regardless.

"Thank god you're awake!" Hikari said immensely relieved. "I-I almost thought you were going to die back there! Please, drink all the water you want!" She forced the jug in to Rei's hands, and sat down on the ground next to her trembling. It was clear that this girl was scared out of her wits!

"Ms. Horaki it is a relief to see you once again. Are there anymore people here with you?" Rei asked as she set the jug down.

"Unfortunately not Ayanami. I don't even know where we're at to tell you the truth! All I remember before waking up near here was dreaming wonderfully, but it all felt so oddly perfect. When I woke up I found myself laying on the ground near this place with Pen-pen by my side." Hikari quickly snatched Rei's right hand in to both of her own, and smiled joyously. "You have no idea how relieved I am to see a familiar face! No idea at all Ayanami! I-I'm very ashamed to admit it, but I was too afraid to show up earlier because of that shady guy that came after you with that rifle of his."

"Then I assume that it was you that I had gotten a glimpse of earlier when I attempted to shatter the window." said Rei, massaging her temples. Hikari bowed her head in shame before answering, "Yeah, it was. I was inside looking for something to eat when all of a sudden I heard something strike the window. When I saw you I was going to try to speak with you, but all of a sudden I heard a gunshot, and backed down to hide."

"I don't blame you for being afraid Horaki. I could have taken care of myself without any assistance."

"I know! I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that soldier run out of the alley limping! What did you do to him?" Hikari asked excitedly. She scooted a little closer to Rei, and waited to hear the whole story.

"That is not important at the moment. Right now I would like to know if you have found any source of shelter to get rest in. This heat is going to cause me to pass out again." Rei drank some water from the jug Hikari gave her, and sighed.

"Yeah, I found a place near the store to rest at. It has a fan so we can keep cool." Hikari said as she got to her feet. "Here, I'll help you up." she extended out a hand, but Rei stood up on her own regardless with the jug in her hand, and gave it to Hikari. Pen-pen alerted both girls with a wark, and Rei went to see what was troubling the penguin.

"He must have dropped this." Rei said to herself, looking at the rifle that her assailant tossed aside earlier. "I may find a use for this."

* * *

**_Setting our sights upon the two other pilots..._**

The sun beated down with an undying radiance upon the two former pilots of Nerv as they traveled through the wasteland that they once called home. Everything looked so uninviting, and the question came to mind: Did it look like this anywhere else in the world or was Japan affected the most by Third Impact?

So far there was no sign of any other surviviors, and the endless walk was gradually taking it's toll on Shinji, and Asuka. The german girl followed behind her comrade throwing dirty glares in his direction every few minutes. She still had no gotten over a few things that had happened in the past, and the cast that was slung around her arm along with the bandages that wrapped around her forehead was a never ending reminder of those very things. Shinji was still lost in his own world fingering Misato's cross necklace which was around his neck mumbling to himself.

"It's about time we stopped third child!" Asuka yelled to him, instantly snapping him out of his stupor. "It may be nothing for you, but these injuries do slow me down just in case you forgot." She walked to a nearby tree, and leaned against it before sliding down to sit. Shinji turned around, and joined her in the shade. No words were exchanged between them for a good few minutes until...

"Well?" Asuka suddenly asked, catching Shinji off guard.

"Well what?" Shinji asked in confusion.

"I still haven't the fucking clue why I even exist at the moment, but regardless of that I am walking around like a cripple." ranted Asuka gesturing to her cast with her good hand.

"...Er-"

"And do you know why I'm walking around like this Mr. Ikari?" asked Asuka. She leaned over to him before grabbing ahold of his shirt, and pulling him to her.

"I really don't want to talk about-ah!" Asuka slapped him across the face before he could finish, and pulled him toward her again before he could recoil.

"YOU don't wanna talk about it? WELL GUESS WHAT? I wanna talk about it okay?" Asuka screamed, fuming. "I at least deserve a explanation for you not showing up in time! You're the reason I suffered do you understand that?"

"I'm sorry Asuka." Shinji apologized dejectedly.

"Well for once you have a reason to apologize you idiot!" Asuka pushed him away, and brought her legs to her chest mumbling incoherently in german. Shinji hesitantly leaned over to comfort her, but he found himself pulling back before he could even get close enough. He knew he could have at least done something to help her if he didn't act like such a coward during the attack, and for this he felt filthy.

"Asuka." he called to her, but she made no effort to respond. "I'm very sorry Asuka. I know I could have been there to save you if I came earlier, but my feelings got in the way again. I was too afraid to get in to Eva because everytime I did someone would get hurt. I killed Kawaru, Asuka. I was given the power to end his life, and I used it, but even now I wonder if he really should have died." His words made Asuka raise her head.

"I'm terrible Asuka. It's my fault that Misato died during the attack! If I didn't hold her back so much she would have been able to get away unharmed, but she didn't! I'm really sorry Asuka, but now I don't know if I even deserve forgivness anymore. I don't even know why I'm alive right now, but if I've been given a second chance then I'm going to make good use of it!"

"Shinji..."

"What do you want me to do, Asuka? I swear I'll make it up to you even if it takes a lifetime. I wasn't there for you before, but I'm telling you right now, I'm here for you now." Shinji breathed heavily as he said this, but he steadied himself, and relaxed. All his pent up feelings were getting the best of him. Asuka could only blink when she heard Shinji say those words. Why did she feel so fidgety when she heard him say that? Nobody had ever gotten the nerve to say that they would be there for her because she held such an intimidating aura around herself that it scared most people to even hold a convseration with her. She never even heard Misato say such words, and that woman was supposed to be her guardian.

"Ummm..er..." Asuka narrowed her eyes in disgust at her own uneasiness, and immediately squashed the feeling. "Stop talking like that third child before you make me sick to my stomach. Don't worry your silly head idiot, I'll have you make it up to me cause now you're my bitch!" She stood up, and rested her good hand on her hip before offering Shinji a mischievous smirk. The young man simply stared at her questioningly.

"I'm your what?"

"You're my bitch so you're going to do what ever I tell you, understand?"

"...Er..I guess." Shinji answered uneasily. The only time he heard that term used for a man was when he watched one of those graphic prison movies with Touji, but this was Asuka he was dealing with so he wasn't surprised to hear that from her.

"Good boy. Now take off your shirt." Asuka ordered making Shinji place a hand on his chest before looking at her in horror. "Don't flatter yourself third child. You are not that appealing, alright? The only reason I'm ordering you to do this is because my plugsuit is running out of resource power so it's starting to get sweaty in here." Her words made Shinji blush much to her amusement, but the boy handed over his shirt quickly.

"Now turn around third child."

"O-okay." Shinji replied doing as told. Asuka raised an eyebrow curiously at the sight of Shinji's back. She took note of how unusually attractive it seemes to her, and wondered if the young man's body was affected during third impact. After giving it much thought she tapped the button on her wrist, and the suit depressurized causing it to slide off her shoulders. She wrapped the sleeves around her waist with a little difficulty due to her arm, and tied them together to make the suit substitute for some pants before slipping on the dress shirt. After buttoning it up she allowed him to see her again.

"Well, we should head on now." said Shinji quickly. He turned away from her, and continued walking to her disappointment. She expected more of a reaction from the guy, but the eye candy would suffice for it. His bare back would at least keep her eyes off that sinking eerie looking face that seemed to never take it's eyes off her. She bumped in to Shinji when he suddenly came to a stop, and yelled, "What the hell, Shinji?"

"Wait a sec." Shinji whispered to her, gesturing for her to move back with his hand. She was tempted to smack his hand away, but she followed her partner's line of sight, and gasped when she saw somebody riding what looked like a off road vehicle. The person wasn't that welcoming however. It was the exact same soldier who attacked Rei.

"What the hell is that, and how the hell did it get it's hands on that beauty?" Asuka asked no one in particular.

"It looks like a soldier to me, but he doesn't look so friendly." Shinji said. The soldier suddenly came to a stop, and got off the four wheeler before looking in their direction. "Oh crap!" yelped Shinji before pulling Asuka down to the ground with him.

"Get off me idiot!"

"Shhh! Be quiet Asuka, he's looking in our direction." hissed Shinji. The german girl threw his arm off of her, and raised her head a bit to have a peek. She inwardly got nervous when she saw the soldier looking in their direction. He really looked like some sort of demon with those red goggles reflecting the light from the sun.

"Who is that?"

* * *

Rei sat on the roof top of the four story apartment complex that Hikari managed to break in to so she could scout the area around the town to see if she saw any sign of her assailant. So far she saw no sign of him so she felt that it was safe, but something else was beggining to irritate her. Something in the back of her mind was telling her that trouble was coming, but she had no idea what it was. Perhaps it was because she had a companion now so her mind was going on alert. Hikari was down stairs in the apartment they were resting in with Pen-pen doing whatever she pleased. 

Rei felt somewhat sorry for the freckled girl because she knew the girl was scared, and lonely. Her sisters weren't around to keep her company, and Rei didn't feel she was the type of company most people appreciated. Well at least Shinji appreciated her company. Memories of the time they had tea together in her apartment made a faint smile cross her lips, but the drop in temperature wiped it off her face. It was getting dark fast, and along with the darkness came the cold, and loneliness she felt. She was worried for Shinji, and at the same time she wished he was with her to at least ease her mind. She felt more at peace when he was close enough for her to keep an eye on.

"Perhaps I should go get some rest." Rei said to herself as she watched the moon rise in the distance. She pushed away from the ledge, and got to her feet but a sudden chill ran through her spine and she came to a pause. The feeling she felt; this odd sensation that was overcoming her sent her on dead alert. Whatever it was that was behind her definitely wasn't human and it was disturbing her to the core.

"_I've finally found you puppet_!" cried out a voice that sounded not so different from her own. Rei whipped around in fear, and felt her heart skip a beat. There was no way she was actually standing before her! No way at all! This must have been a hallucination from her fatigued mind because this was truly unreal.

"Lillith?!" Rei questioned in surprise before the angel pounced on her! Lillith struck Rei across the face with an elbow causing her to fall near the edge from the surprise attack, and pinned the pale blue angel down with her knee before wrapping both of her hands around her neck. She squeezed with all her might, and smiled insanely. This was the moment she had been dying for since she lost conciousness.

_"Did you really think you were done with me? You impetuent whore_!" Lillith roared, squeezing even harder. Rei gripped both of Lillith's hands in an attempt to pry her hands off her neck, but she felt hopeless.

Darkness was pulling in...

_**To be continued...**_

_Oh yeah! I was finally able to update this fic after all the time that has passed from the last chapter. I've decided to start working on this fic on well so I'll have something to direct my attention to when I get writers block on my other story. I hope I didn't disappoint with this chapter, and if I did I promise that the future chapters will have more to offer!_

_Fasten your seat belts cause' this world is gonna rock!_

**_Traingham..._**


	5. Dellusions and False motives

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters…

_**Angels in Despair: The records of Rei Ayanami  
**_

**_Chapter Five: Late night adreneline_**

_By Traingham_

* * *

_**3I Survival tip number four: When traversing the new world curiousity can be a great risk. When observing other survivors take caution not to be seen...especially when they are equipped with weapons.**_

* * *

_  
_

The night was filled with panic, and terror as Shinji, and Asuka pumped their legs as fast as they possibly could in a desperate attempt to lose their assailant. Asuka'a hair color stood out just enough for the soldier to be able to tell that someone was watching him, and now he was pursuing his spies. The roaring engine of his off road four wheeler had the adreneline pumping in both teenager's veins, and their fear was the only thing keeping them from getting tired! Shinji saw Asuka slowing down because of her injuries, and clasped her good wrist before pulling her to keep up with him.

"Come on Asuka!" Shinji yelled fearfully. He was inwardly terrified when he saw that his companion was feeling the effects of her injuries, and his mind went racing for a solution to her problem. "Get on my back Asuka!" Shinji pleaded, coming to a stop.

"I...can't you idiot!" Asuka cried out painfully before getting down on one knee. Shinji gasped, and got down with her before stroking her leg.

"What's wrong?"

"My left leg just...urgh...locked!" Asuka said with a groan. "I'm not going to be able to go on like this!" Both teenagers whipped their head in the other direction when they heard a crash. Their assailant just drove off a small land hump before landing back on the ground with a crash. The vehicle's off road capabilities allowed it to recover from the shock easily, and continue riding smoothly. Shinji tried his best to ignore their pursuer, and grabbed Asuka's arm to wrap it around the back of his neck.

"What ar-"

"Just trust me!" Shinji cut her off before picking her up in his arms. He staggered back a bit from the sudden change in the center of his gravity before sprinting forward. "Are you comfortable?" Shinji asked, panting.

"D-does it m-matter right now idiot?" Asuka cried out with a furious blush. "You better not cop a feel you pervert!" The sound of the engine coming closer made the young man pump his legs even harder.

"I WON'T!" Shinji yelled in frustration. They were running away from some madman on a moving vehicle, and she was worried about him copping a feel? What the hell was wrong with this girl? Shinji could feel himself slowly getting tired from carrying Asuka, and his arms started to burn, but he refused to give up. In fact he ran even faster!

"Shinji!" Asuka yelled looking over his shoulder. "He's right behind us!" The soldier floored the gas pedal, and veered the vehicle to the side before getting in front of them, and skidding to a stop! Shinji stopped in his tracks, and turned the other way to run, but the soldier pulled a pistol out of his shoulder holster, and aimed it at the both of them.

"What do you want from us?" Shinji asked angrily. "Why are you chasing us?" His only answer from the soldier was a hand gesture telling him to set Asuka down. "What do you want from her? I'm not giving her to you." His words made the soldier take a shot at the ground near Shinji's feet before aiming at him.

"Let me go before you get us both killed idiot." Asuka hissed quietly.

"Fine." Shinji mumbled before setting her down on the ground. "Now move away from here while you have the chance."

"My leg won't exactly allow me to do that." Asuka retorted with a pained moan. Shinji nodded, and took a step in front of her before asking the soldier, "So what do you want from us now? We don't have any supplies. It looks like you have everything you need so could you please let us go?"

The soldier shook his head before holstering his pistol, and unclipping the holster before setting it down on the seat of the four wheeler. He unclipped the blade sheath that was attatched to the side of his pants leg, and laid his ammunition clips on the seat as well. After he was done stripping himself of his equipment he got in to a fighting stance, and beckoned Shinji to come at him with a few flicks of his hand. It was quite clear to Shinji that this man wanted to have a duel with him.

"Go ahead Shinji! You can take this guy!" Asuka called out. "He'll probably leave if you kick his ass!"

"A-asuka, are you kidding me? He's a trained combat soldier!" Shinji retorted looking back at his fallen companion.

"You've been trained in advanced combat too you idiot! Just think of him as an angel!"

"B-but-"

"Watch out!" Asuka cried, but it was too late. The soldier grabbed ahold of Shinji's hair, and forced the young man's face in to his incoming knee! Shinji staggered away, disoriented by the sudden attack, but instead of attacking Shinji while he was vunerable the soldier waited. Shinji shook his head, and got his eyes to focus before waiting for another attack. The soldier nodded, and came at him again with a left hook. Shinji prepared to block the strike, but to his surprise the soldier pulled back his left fist at the last moment, and caught Shinji in the face with a right hook. Shinji lost his balance, and fell to the side.

"Dammit, if only I wasn't so frickin hurt." Asuka grumbled to herself. "Come on you idiot! At this point you'll disgrace the fraternity of the Eva pilots! Fight back already!" She bit her lip when Shinji pressed his palms against the ground, and pushed himself up on to his knees before standing up again.

"Alright...I'm not down yet."

* * *

**_  
_**

Rei stood in the middle of a dark foggy valley with rotting trees surrounding her from every direction. She didn't understand what this place was exactly, but she did know one thing at the moment: She was dead. Lillith had overpowered her, and there was nothing she could do to stop her from finishing what she came to accomplish. Darkness eventually brought her in with warm welcoming arms, and she accepted it without protest. This meant that her chance at being reunited with Shinji slipped through her fingers. Perhaps it was never meant to be. Maybe embarking on this foolish quest was going beyond her limits as a tool. She served her purpose, and she was destined to fall down the path that all used tools did: Destruction.

"I was never meant to go beyond my limits as a pilot. Eva is gone, and so I must follow it in to non-existence." Rei said to herself before a younger version of herself materialized before her. The little girl wore a stoic mask, but upon looking to see her a disturbing smirk crossed her lips.

"That is right Ayanami. You were never mean to pursue your own pleasures. Such things were only meant for those with souls created by God." the child-like Rei narrowed her eyes. "Souls created by men are soley in existence to serve. Stepping beyond servitude only exceeds our limits. A foolish attempt at free will." she disappeared, and Rei II appeared wearing her plugsuit.

"What is happiness? Why would dolls such as ourselves know such things when we aren't meant to experience it? If you hurt us we do not bleed. We do no cry, and we do not feel. You are no different from us, and so you will not veer from the fate planned for you." The plugsuit melted away leaving her nude, and her lips suddenly curled in to a sneer. Her eye's began to blaze, and her hair became disheveled. "Puppets do not act on feelings. They act upon orders, and do nothing unless they recieve orders. Did you recieve any orders?"

"No." Rei answered.

"Is your master present?"

"No."

"Very well then. You have no reason to go on living." said the illusion before vanishing; leaving Rei alone in the valley once more. Rei stood still looking in to the distance before sitting on the ground, and pulling her legs up to her chest.

"Non-existent." Rei whispered before closing her eyes.

The rain fell from the ominous sky above, showering the two angels who fought for supremacy from up top the roof of a building, but only one truly grasped it in the end. Lillith smiled when she felt Rei stop moving from beneath her, and leaned over unitl her ear was near her nose to listen for any inhalation. She heard nothing at all so she was convinced that she had exacted her revenge on the foolish artificial angel. What could a puppet possibly hope to achieve when opposing an all powerful angel? Perhaps there was something special about the girl that she had extinguished the life from a mere moment ago, but now it was too late to find out.

"_Good bye clone. We shall never see one another again."_ Lillith turned around to leave just in time to see the butt of a rifle being swung towards her head! She reflexively caught it with one hand, and widened her eyes slighlty when she saw who it was that tried to knock her unconcious. "_Do my eyes decieve me? A human being is present in this world?"_ Lillith snatched the rifle out of Hikari's hands, and tossed it on the floor before taking a step towards the freckled girl.

_S-she looks exactly like Ayanami! What the heck is going on here? _Hikari thought in confusion as she backed away in fear. The imposter regarded her with a disgusted glare that made her feel weak.

_"What is the matter with you meddlesome humans? Are you not satisfied with perfection that you've decided to awaken from instrumentality? What are you in search of lillium?"_ Lillith asked, advancing upon Hikari. _"What can you possibly find in this world that third impact could not offer? That Ikari boy was a fool to reject me, but I'm sure the rest of you pathetic creatures know better than to over step your boundaries once more."_

"Who are you?" Hikari asked in dying whisper.

_"I am the seeker of pleasure, and the destroyer of reason. I am Lillith, and I will reclaim he who has escaped me, and eliminate those who oppose me! Adam may have rejected me twice, but this time I will have him, and before I do that I must eliminate all threats." _Lillith grabbed Hikari by her pigtails, and lifted her off the floor with one hand. She reared back her other hand in preperation to finish off the girl, but a sudden stab at her foot made her let go. _"What was that?"_ She cocked her head to the side when she saw Pen-pen, and cracked an insane grin. _"Must I kill every living thing on this planet?"_

* * *

**_  
_**

Asuka cringed when the soldier landed another punch to Shinji's stomach before waiting for the young man to stand up again. This had been going on for a long time already, and the german girl started to feel that the soldier was really enjoying this. Shinji got back up, and staggered backwards when his legs were too weak to adjust to his center of gravity. Shinji wiped the small trickle of blood from his mouth, and got back in to a fighting stance with trembling hands. The soldier did the same, and came at him with a right hook. Shinji acted as though he was intending to block the incoming strike so when the soldier tried to fake the right, and come in with a left he was able to defend himself. Shinji blocked the punch before curling his arm, and coming forward to strike the soldier in the stomach with an elbow.

"Shinji can't handle this guy." Asuka said to herself when the soldier grabbed ahold of Shinji's neck with one hand before preforming a leg sweep. Just as Shinji started to fall backwards the soldier choke slammed him in to the ground. He took a step back to monitor Shinji for, any movement and crossed his arms when Shinji's hand twitched. Asuka wished she could at least see the guy's face, but the metal face plate that made up the mask made this nearly impossible. Shinji slowly sat up, and raised his head to look at the soldier before getting back up slowly, but his advisary pulled him up off the ground by his shirt, and stared at Shinji through his red goggles. The young man had no time to react when the soldier head butted him casuing him to fall unconcious.

"He can't defend himself anymore! Stop this shit already!" Asuka screamed, but the soldier ignored her, and examined Shinji's face. After a while he approached Asuka, dragging Shinji along the floor, and threw him next to her. Asuka didn't make a move in fear that the mysterious man would take it as an action against him, but she was inwardly worried about Shinji.

"So what now tough guy? You're gonna beat up on an injured girl too?" she asked through gritted teeth. She was itching to beat the soldier to a pulp, but her injuries wouldn't allow that, and the frustration was building up deep inside of her. The soldier simply looked at her before setting his sights on Shinji again. Then he turned his back on her, and headed to his four wheeler to re-equip himself before getting on, and turning on the ignition. "So that's it? You're just gonna drive off after you beat Shinji?" she screamed in agitation when the soldier drove off leaving her, and Shinji in a dust cloud.

"WHAT WAS THE POINT OF ALL THIS?"

* * *

**_  
_**

Rei layed on the floor looking up at the dark sky in the deep realm of darkness that she found herself residing in. She was where she belonged, but if that was so then why did she still feel incomplete? It was the same exact feeling she experienced when she sat on the shore next to Lillith a few days back. Not only that, but she also felt something eating her up inside about leaving Lillith with Hikari. Surely if the angel came to kill her then Hikari was just another play thing for her.

"This world doesn't feel right." Rei said to herself holding her hand over her eyes. "I don't feel that I truly belong here. If I am a mere puppet than I should not feel such emptiness." She flinched when an image struck her mind. She fell on to her back and held her head tightly as the images gradually began to violate her mind. Faces...she saw faces of people she knew. Naoko. Ritsuko. Gendo. These people...they represented something but she wasn't sure what it meant.

"These people." Rei groaned, trying to force the images in her head away. "What are they here for?! What...do they mean to me?"

**_Your Doubts..._**

"My doubts?"

* * *

**_"YOU CAN BE REPLACED TOO! YOU...LITTLE...BTICH!"_**

_"I remember this from somewhere...but it's locked away somewhere."_

_**"These things.They have no soul, no will to live. They are just mere vessels in wait of a soul."**_

_"These "things"? Is that voice regarding me?"_

_**"The spare is useless Rei. You will pilot the Evangelion."**_

_"Thise voice...it displeases me...I hate it!"_

* * *

Rei held her head in pain, now beggining to grit her teeth from the unbearable pain that took over her mind. She felt something trail down her cheeks and realized that tears were streaming from her eyes uncontrollably. Another face entered her mind but ti was her own. She couldn't see her eyes, however, because her hair overshadowed them. Her lips curled in to a devious grin and she realized this face was not her own. 

**_"Your heart is filled with a deep pain."_**

_"My Heart? Do I have a heart?"_

_**"Do you understand what it is you feel? This pain that fills your heart intends to consume you."**_

_"Pain? What is this pain you speak of?"_

_**"It is called loneliness Rei Ayanami. Your heart is filled with deep loneliness and yet you are completely oblivious to it. Going through life questioning the emptiness you feel when in fact you've never tried to understand it."**_

_"To understand this emptiness? What can I possibly gain from understanding it?" _Rei began to whimper as her tears overcame her senses. These deep feelings locked in the back of her mind unleashed themselves all at once.

**_"Your heart is aching for something. Your ignorance of what you want makes this so and yet it also manifests a hatred."_**

_"Hatred?"_

_Asuka's comatose form leaked in to her mind._

_**"This person...she takes away your happiness, but only because you allow her to."**_

_"Happiness? What do I know of happiness?"_

_**"Shinji Ikari. He is what makes you happy but you don't realize it unless he is taken from you."**_

_"Shinji?!" _Rei cried out. She saw Shinji's face and her hands reached for the air as if she was trying to have him in her reach.

**_"You are not so emotionless now are you? You choose to be stoic and unaccepting of the truth. You are a coward First Child._**_** You are afraid to cross the limits which are set out before you."**_

_"Shinji?"_

_**"You can't even save yourself."**_

_"SHINJI?"_

_**"You have no love for your own being."**_

**"SHINJI!"**

**_"And so...you will fail. You will die in your misery; your pain and your loneliness. You will accept death and fail to grasp happiness._**

* * *

Rei's eyes snapped open when the pain subsided and she wiped her eyes. Something snapped within her mind and a fire began to burn in her. "I don't want death."

"You can't go beyond your limits doll." said the child-like Rei with narrowed eyes. The other appiration wearing the plugsuit regarded her with burning crimson eyes and sneered before saying, "Give in. Take your place with us."

"No." Rei replied, clenching her right hand in to a fist. "I will go on in the real world, and I will allow no one to hinder me."

* * *

Lillith turned away from Hikari, and Pen-pen when she heard a sudden gasp from Rei behind her, and couldn't believe what was happening. _"Why won't you die?"_ she growled with burning eyes. _"Why can't you accept that your life has reached it's limit? No matter; life can be dealt with in other ways."_ with those words Lillith snatched up the rifle, and ran to Rei with intents of cracking her head open, but just as she brought the butt of the rifle down upon her, Rei caught it with both hands. Lillith smirked, and focused her At-field so she could blast Rei, but when she tried to unleash her attack nothing but a flicker was expelled.

_"What? My At-fie-"_ Rei gave her no time to finish, and sent the angel flying over the ledge of the building behind her with the assistance of her legs. Lillith tried to keep a tight grip on the rifle to bring Rei along with her, but her hand slipped, and she fell to the ground below.

"Thank God!" Hikari said in relief, getting up to go see if Rei was seriously hurt, but the pale blue angel simply walked past her. "W-where are you going?"

"She may not be dead." Rei answered as she descended the flight of stairs in to the building quickly.

"N-not dead? What the heck is she?" Hikari asked, but Rei was already out of ear-shot. Rei ran down the last few flights of stairs, and entered the lobby of the complex . She ran to the exit gripping the rifle so she would be ready for a surprise attack from Lillith, but when she got outside the second angel was nowhere in sight.

"This town may not be safe anymore."

_**To be continued...**_


	6. Finding Traces

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters…

_**Angels in Despair**_

**_Chapter Six: Dwelving in to Hostility_**

By Traingham

* * *

Leaving the town felt an oddly eerie feeling in Rei's mind. It seemed to be all to easy for them, and that was the last thing the former pilot would ever expect in this world whenever that "psychotic angel" was nearby. First thing to do before they set off from the town was to stock up on supplies for their traveling just in case the next nearest sign of refuge was more than a day away. Hikari gathered supplies and packed them in two traveling bags while Rei stood guard outside with the rifle in hand on the look out for Lillith if she decided to ambush them. She waited, and waited truly expecting her nemesis to show up but to Rei's disturbance the second angel didn't appear at all. 

"Lillith must be planning some sort of ambush for the both of us." Rei said to herself in suspicion. She decided to make one more scout around the market only to find Hikari waiting for her with Pen-Pen when she got back around.

"Nothing at all." Hikari asked, handing Rei one of the bags. The pale blue angel accepted the traveling bag before throwing the strap over her shoulder and answering, "Nothing."

"That's a good sign...right?" asked the freckled girl feeling a bit unsure on how to look at the situation. She really would have appreciated it if Reo got the hang of outwardly showing her emotions because the stoic mask was telling her nothing.

"No Ms. Horaki, that only shows that Lillith will pan before she decides to strike." Rei motioned for Hikari to follow her before walking. "An advisary who plans strategies is one to be wary of. I expect you to be the eyes in the back of my head."

"I'll try Ayanami."

"In such conditions I will expect more of you than that." Rei suddenly sai, catching her comrade off guard.

"O-okay."

The three walked on to the end of the town and the moon could finally be seen in the ominous evening sky. Such a sight was a blessing in the eyes of Hikari who had spent her days so far in hiding, feeling that this reborn world was no longer itself. It felt odd to depart from their source of refuge, and Hikari somehow felt a little better leaving it but she saw something besides the moon that forced a scream to escape her! Rei immediately whipped around to see what caused the young woman such discomfort.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice holding a hint of excitement from the unexpected scream. Rei followed Hikari's line of sight and saw an enormous glowing crimson orb in the distance. It was the eye of the the portion of the head that refused to sink in to the depth of the LCL. It would be long before the frightening smile from the second angel would leave this world, completely submerged and Rei knew that before that happened the chilling sight would be burned in to world history.

"A-Ayanami wh-what is that?" Hikari cried out in fear.

"It is a demon." Rei answered, clenching her hands in to fists.

"B-but why does it...look like you?" Her words were like a blow to Rei. The angel never wanted to be compared to Lillith ever again, and if Hikari put that grotesque thing together with her then Shinji wouldn't be thinking any differently.

"It isn't me Horaki."

"then why does it look like-"

"It isn't me!" Rei suddenly screamed with flaring eyes. She turned around and face to face with the frightened eyes of her comrade, and refused to give in to them. "If we are traveling together I must know that you do not fear me."

"But... Ayanami."

"I must know."

"I'm not...afraid of you." Hikari finally answered trying to keep her voice composed.

"...Thank you." Rei said gently. She turned away from Hikari before adjusting her backpack, and resting her rifle on her shoulder. "We must start moving now. If we travel fast enough we may find other survivors before sunrise, and perhaps another town as well."

* * *

It was cold and Asuka was shivering next to Shinji's unconcious form. That odd twisted character really knocked the pilot out cold, and for him to just drive away as though nothing had transpired between them made the girl feel a growing frustration in her chest at how unbelievably hard it was to cope with these harsh conditions. Asuka watched over Shinji and a tiny smirk graced her lips at his courage earlier. In normal everyday situations he would disgust her with his weakness, and lack of determination but whenever something life threatening was at hand all of that would suddenly change and he became a person that she couldn't help but admire. 

_-I guess maybe that's _why_ I feel that we can somehow make it through this.-_

"He's freezing." she said observing Shinji as he began to shiver. He gave up his dress shirt for her so he was clearly worse off than she was. Asuka started to feel somewhat guilty for stripping him of it for herself and gradually found her hands being drawn to the young man. "...I can't believe I'm doing this." she grumbled to herself as she wrapped her good arm around his upper body so she could sit him up against her. The feeling of his cold skin against her urged her to throw him off her, but she resisted the feeling.

"What am I gonna do with you." the girl chuckled as the need to embrace him tighter got strong. "I guess no matter how much I push you away life forces me to hold you close...how ironic, huh?" Asuka looked up at the sky before muttering to herself in german. She really must have hit rock bottom if she was confiding to an idiot who couldn't even hear her. Maybe it was the only way she felt that she could actually talk to him comfortably. There was many time in the past that she would lay against Misato or Shinji's door in the middle of the night and rant on about herself for no reason as if they could hear her as they slept.

"Mom..."Shinji suddenly mumbled as a tear slipped down his cheek. Asuka was taken aback when she heard him speak, and rested her chin on his head as she closed her eyes and whispered," For once I think we're on the same page Third child."

**_The Next Day..._**

Asuka opened her eyes slowly and tried to stretch but something was keeping her from making any movement. In a matter of fact she felt extremely wet, and sticky from the perspiration that was building up through the heat. She almost conked her sleeping comrade across the head when she noticed how snug he looked cuddling against her but recalling what went on last night saved Shinji from a very painful headache. "Well, don't you look comfortable?" Asuka asked mockingly before shoving him off her. She stood up using the rock ehy were resting against as support, and doubled over from the sore feeling from her stomach.

"Damn, I'm hungry." Asuka complained before kicking Shinji in the behind. "Hey wake up already idiot!" Her kick woke him up causing him to inhale the dust from the ground by mistake. He coughed a few times before curling up to get some more sleep.

"Leave me alone." He mumbled. His reaction made Asuka's eye twitch in annoyance and she brought back her foot before letting it launch at him a second time!

"Yeeowch!" Shinji cried out, flailing his legs wildly at the kick. He got to his feet and yelled, "What the hell Asuka?"

"We haven't eaten for two days!" the read-head screamed. "Now get off your ass and lets get moving before we die of starvation!"

"What good am I, huh?" Shinji yelled back. "I can't even protect you! I'm surprised he didn't just kill you while I was out cold!" Asuka growled in agitation and approached him quickly, but he stood his ground.

"Look Shinji, fuck him! The guy came out of nowhere alright? We weren't prepared to face a lunatic like that!" Asuka yelled. "We weren't prepared to face any of this, but we're alive dammit!" her words made Shinji calm down and kick at the ground.

"...I understand." Shinji reasoned before taking a deep breath to clear himself. He wiped away at his nose causing small semi-moist red flakes to smear on the side of his hand. "Dried blood..." he mumbled before studying the ground for tracks from the soldier's ATV. "Do you need any help walking Asuka?"

"I'm actually starting to feel a little better." replied Asuka, relieved that she was able to get him going again. This was the type of person she was willing to travel this wasteland with, not some whining little boy.

"Then let's pick up again." said shinji as he pointed to the tire tracks on the ground. "We're going to follow these."

"But we might meet up with "Him" again. Don't you think we should be trying to avoid him?" Asuka asked sarcastically.

"He must have gotten those supplies from somehwere so wherever he goes there will be food somewhere, and I can see something in the distance over the hill." Asuka looked to where Shinji was gesturing to and saw something shining from the sunlight in the distance.

"I don't remeber noticing that last night."

* * *

Re walked without rest through the wasteland with Hikari and Pen-Pen struggling to keep up from behind. They had been traveling in search of another town since the middle of the night going in to the morning, and so far there was no signs of anything going along those lines. The pale blue angel reached for the side pocket of her traveling bag to get her bottle of water when she suddenly heard a thud behind her and the warm water penguin warking to get her attention. Hikari had fallen to the ground behind her so Rei rushed to her aid. 

"Can you continue Horaki?" Rei asked helping the freckled girl back to her feet. Hikari nodded her head quickly and picked up Pen-Pen before mumbling, "I just lost my balance."

"Very well Horaki." Rei said with a nod before walking on.

"Hey...Ayanami."

"Yes?" Rei asked turning back to her.

"Please call me Hikari."

"Very well." Rei started forward again expecting for Hikari to follow again without another word being that she wasn't much of a conversationalist when it came to people she wasn't very familiar with but the class rep continued to go on.

"So who are you searching for Ayanami?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well there has to be a reason that you seem so determined to keep on moving forward right? If not you would have just stayed in the last town and taken care of that...imposter. I was content just waiting for someone to find me, but it seems to be the other way around for you." Hikari figured Rei wasn't going to reply due to the silence so she went on further. " Just watching you makes me feel like searching for the ones I love. I want to be reunited with my sisters again f possible, and maybe...just maybe with Touji too. I mean, he may have seemed like a dork in the past but he really is sweet. I miss them so much...Asuka too." Just the thought of all of them almost brought tears to the girl's eyes, but she didn't want to look weak in front of Rei.

"...Ikari-kun."

"Ikari-kun? What are you talking about?"

"He is who I'm searching for."

"You're just looking for Shinji-kun? Don't you have anybody else, like family...maybe?" Hikari asked curiously.

"Family? That word is foreign to me on many levels, but If I were to pertain such a word to someone then it would be Ikari-kun. He is who I trully feel complete with."

"...I understand. I never realised that Shinji-kun was so important to you. I've never actually seen you two talk with each other like friends in the past." Hikari remarked. There was a silence after she said that and she felt the need to apologize but Rei stopped in her tracks. There was a large town in ruins up ahead and she could see some peopl walking around the streets. It was near a lake of LCL that had a petrified MP Evangelion half buried on the shore.

"A town is up ahead."

"That's great!" Hikari exclaimed, but Rei held out her hand in front of the class representative. Even Pen-Pen reacted negatively to the girl's excitement.

"We must proceed with caution. Stay near me or they may attemtp to strip the both of us of our supplies by force." Rei proceeded when her companion nodded. They walked near the twon and two men who were near the enterance immediately became alert of both wanderer's presence. At the sight of the rifle Rei had in her hand they ran in to the streets shouting a warning for everyone else in fear.

_-They already see us as a threat.-_ Rei thought grimly. If they didn't clear up the situation quickly then they wouldn't have a place to stay for the night. "Remember what I directed earlier." Rei reminded Hikari. They entered the town cautiously, and both girl were approached by a young girl who was sent out from on of the shops. Her clothes were drenched, and she was trembling. Rei looked over the girl's shoulder and saw other people in hiding looking on at them to see what would happen.

"There is no need for this." Rei called to them. "We have no hostile intentions against any of you."

At her words a man from the group of people steeped out and called to the girl before taking her place in front of Rei, and Hikari. To Rei these people were no different from cowards to send a young woman out to meet the "danger", and a recently returned young woman at that. Her clothes were clearly drenched in LCL, and the fear was clear in her eyes. It didn't even seem like she was comfortable with the survivors dwelling the town from how she responded when the man called her back.

"Have you appointed a leader yet?" Rei asked.

"You won't be taken in until you hand over all your supplies." the man retorted holding out his hands expectantly. Rei nodded and handed over her traveling pack.

"Ayanami." Hikari protested.

"Do as he says." Rei ordered. Hikari was hesitant but she haded over her traveling pack as well. The man grinned upon recieving both packs, and seemed to be immensly pleased wth how heavy they were in his hands. He whistled and the two men who ran in earlier cam from the group to recieve them.

"Now hand over the rifle as well."

"We don't intend to stay here very long. I will keep my rifle." Rei said refusing to hand it over. "Allow me to speak with your leader."

"I don't think you understand you little freak."

"Excuse me." said Rei as she brushed past him. She motioned for Hikari to follow her, and she did as told. The man attempted to grab the freckled girl only to have his hands snapped at by Pen-Pen.

"Hey! You two can't just do as you please!" he yelled furiously, but he backed away when Rei pointed her rifle at him. It wasn't loaded, but it did work to trick him in to not pursuing them. The other people gasped at her actions as well, and did the same.

"You will stop us?" Rei asked surprising Hikari at how intimidating the enigmatic angel could be when it was required. Both of them turned when they heard a voice call out that made all of the people scatter to the side. A man Rei, and Hikari knew well came around the corner with some other men and froze in place when he saw them.

"You..." Rei said in shock at the very sight of him.

"...T-this is unbelievable!" Hikari cried out.

"Well...hello to you too." he said with a suave smirk.

* * *

Shinji and Asuka stopped for a rest when they realised they were close enough to the ruins to take a breather. They had been jogging, and resting for about two hours already and it almost felt like they were chasing an illusion in the distance. Shinji felt a little wierd dipping his feet in to the LCL, but it seemed to be the only source of coolness at the moment. Asuka was doing the same as she unwrapped the cast around her arm. 

"It's great to see you feeling better." Shinji said in relief. "I thought you were going to stay like that forever." he chuckled, but he went silent when Asuka threw him a nasty glare.

"Whatever, third child. I can't see how you can just joke around right now at the worst moment in time. We're having a crisis just in case it slipped your mind, idiot." Asuka said with a sniff of pent up frustration. She looked toward the small ruins of what seemed to be a gas station and sighed. "We better find food in there or we're food for the damn buzzurds."

"They should." Shinji said hopefully as he stared out at what seemed to be a giant white hand reaching out from the water. The sight of Lilliths body part, and the remains of Mp Evas didn't seem to bother him or Asuka any more. He was still trying to figure out what it meant when he saw Rei when he first woke up. He could have sworn the same thing happened to him before, but his head was hurting just thinking about it.

"Where are you?" he whispered before something floating in the LCL caught his eyes. Something red...a jacket of some sort...

"Misato's jacket!" Shinji cried out before diving in to the orange body of liquid. Asuka, taken totally by surprise from his sudden action almost fell in to the water herself.

"What the..." Asuka's eyes searched the LCL until she saw the jacket as well. "...it is her jacket!" she said unbelievingly. Shinji rose from the LCL and clutched the jacket before struggling to get back to land.

"IDIOT! YOU CAN'T SWIM?" Asuka yelled as she got on her back. "Grab my leg!"

"I...cwan't!" Shinji cried out, swallowing some of the orange substance. Asuka grabbed ahold of cracked concrete, and moved a little closer for Shinji to reach.

"Come on!"

"G-got it!" Shinji said grabbing on to her leg. Asuka pulled back with all her might until he was finally able to pull himself back on to land. Both of them breathed heavily from fatigue until Shinji held the jacket up and exclaimed, "I got it!"

"Y-yeah...I can see that...stupid!" Asuka growled. Sometimes she really wished the boy would think before he leaped.

"She..has to be...nearby!"

_**To be continued...**_


	7. Shards

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters…

_**Angels in Despair: The records of Rei Ayanami  
**_

**_Chapter Seven: Picking up the pace  
_**

By Traingham

* * *

**_3I Survival tip number six: The new world holds new dangers, but be wary of those from the past. _**

* * *

There he stood before them in front of the frightened survivors who regarded them with such faces full of fear and anger. Besides the change in attire he looked very much the same from when he was still alive and well. This brought up some confusion from Rei who believed that those who died before Third Impact would stay dead but at the same time she would not have had it any other way. His hair was in a pony tial as usual and he still hadn't shaved at all; not that she expected that to be of much importance due to the current situation. 

"Ryoji Kaji." Rei spoke his name.

"Rei Ayanami." Kaji did the same before walking to her and Hikari. "Watching you hold that rifle in your hand really changes my whole impression of you, but I guess that shouldn't be too surprising since you were an Eva pilot."

"Wait a second!" the man behind the two girls growled. "You know these two?!"

"Shut up." Kaji told him.

"We don't intend to stay here long Mr. Kaji." Rei informed him. "However since we have been stripped of our supplies we will need some assistance."

"Don't worry, Ayanami!" Kaji told her, ruffling her blue mop of hair like he used to. "Just come with me."

"Very well." Rei looked to Hikari giving her the message that it was okay to follow and the freckled girl nodded. As they followed the former spy further in to the town the survivors regarded Rei with suspicious looks. It wasn't until they reached the very center of the crowd that one woman finally cried out, "LOOK AT HER! SH-SHE'S THAT MONSTER!"

Suddenly there were murmurs amongst the crowd and they all started to panic. One young man poked his head out to get a good look of Rei's face and he immediately pulled back.

"She has the same face as that giant head sinking in to the ocean!" he yelled in horror. The people spread away from Rei and Hikari as though they held some type of plague. They feared the first child as though she was some sort of demon walking among them.

"Hey, you all shut up!" Hikari screamed at them. "You people are all stupid to say such things!"

"She must be her servant!" a girl in her teenage years sneered. "I say we better stay away from her too!" Her words drew out agreements from the other survivors who could hear her.

"Shut up already!" Hikari cried out another time but she calmed down when Rei placed a hand on her shoulder and shook her head to tell her to quiet down. Tears stung the freckled girl's eyes when she realized Rei wasn't affected by any of their rude remarks and screams at all. Almost at though she expected this of all of them. "B-but Ayanami...what they're saying isn't true. I know that thing out there isn't you!"

"Then ignore them." was Rei's only reply.

"...Ayanami." Hikari whispered but it didn't seem that Rei wanted to talk about it any longer. They followed Kaji until they reached what looked like some abandoned store and entered it. Inside there were shelves and ailse of supplies guarded by groups of men equipped with knives to make sure the survivors wouldn't get greedy. Rei studied the little settlement before setting her sights on the man leading them.

"You have this town in order." Rei commented calmly.

"Yeah. Before I arrived here from that large lake beside the town they were practically fighting tooth and nail over these supplies. If they had their way they would've exhausted the source in a matter of days." Kaji offered her one of his smirks. "It's kind of pathetic."

"But...Mr. Kaji" Hikari called to him meekly.

"Yes sweety?" Kaji asked her, opening the door to his private room. He allowed both girls to enter inside and he locked the door behind them.

"How is it that you were appointed leader anyway?" Hikari asked.

"Simple methods of persuasion dear Horaki." Kaji replied, motioning for both young women to take a seat. "You see, my knowledge of the where abouts of this "great" city is what's keeping safe. That and..." Kaji reached in to one of the drawers of the wooden desk he was standing behind and took out some keys. "These keys for a military jeep near the outskirts of this town."

"Great city?" Rei questioned him. "What city are you referring to?"

"Tokyo-3 of course!" Kaji replied. "Most of the survivors here are from Tokyo-3. Either that or they simply want to go to a place that has more to offer. That city is military made so it withstanded most of the chaos."

"I guess that's understandable." Hikari reasoned. "...That's the place we're headed to as well."

"Is that so?" Kaji mused with a grin. "To tell you the truth girls...you can say I'm being kept prisoner."

"The survivors suspect that you have the key to the vehicle, correct?" Rei asked knowingly.

"Exactly. I've noticed they've been keeping an eye on my activities. Every time I go near the lake to think or just use the bathroom. They always have somebody tagging me whether it be a little boy or just some woman." Kaji leaned back in his chair and sighed. "I was relieved to see you of all people Ayanami."

"You lie Mr. Kaji." Rei retorted. "You would have rather met with Misato Katsuragi." She noticed the change in the former spy's demeanor when she uttered the Major's name. She struck a cord within him and she started to wonder if she could actually use the man to her benefit. "What is it that you're searching for in this world Mr. Kaji?"

"Me? I don't want anything from this world Ms. Ayanami." Kaji replied, a bit of venom seeping in his voice. "My brother was with me in the other world beyond that lake...whatever reason that brought me here to this wasteland; I'm not sure but I sure as hell hate it." Kaji's right hand closed in to a tight fist. Hikari heard his words and almost leapt from her seat.

"I know exactly what you're talking about!" Hikari cried out. "I was in another world with my family before I woke up on the shore! It was like some dream world." Hikari balled up her hands on her lap and lowered her head slightly before saying, "Now...I just want to go back to that place."

"What you both were experiencing was Instrumentality." Rei told them coldly. "It was a false fabricated reality set up by the Second Angel to keep the humans off this planet and locked deep within the Chamber of Guaf. You two chose to reject it." She set her sights on Kaji and narrowed her eyes at him. "You rejected it because you still must speak those words to, Major Katsuragi."

"Words...what words?"

"You know very well which words I speak of Kaji." Rei answered, her eyes still focused on him quite intensely. "You saw past the false life, Lillith imprisoned you in and seeked your true happiness. Don't deny it..." Kaji leaned over to her from the other side of the desk and rested his chin in his hand.

"Well someone sure is beggining to talk a lot."

"Because you won't be persuaded with silence."

"Persuaded to do what?"

"To get moving." Rei replied. Hikari looked at her when she said that and asked, "What do you mean Ayanami? What are you trying to do now?"

"Those survivors are going to make a move now that you've associated yourself with me Mr. Kaji. They see me as a threat to their lives so they are going to try something desperate." Rei gripped the rifle in her hand and set it down on her lap. "Just as you intend to set out to find Katsuragi; Horaki and I intend to reach Tokyo-3 to find the others as well."

"You two are looking for the others?" Kaji asked curiously before laughing uncontrollably. His placed his left hand on his face and continued to laugh much to Hikari's discomfort. Rei simply stared at him impassionately. When he settled down he regarded Rei with an amused expression. "I'll hand it to you two girls. You have something I apparently don't have, but before we go on with this pleasant little conversation I have one question to ask you Ayanami."

"Ask what is on your mind Kaji." Rei told him.

"Who are you looking for?"

* * *

**_Focusing on the two other main survivors..._**

"MISATO!" Shinji called out ot his guardian as he and Asuka roamed the quiet city. It sure wasn't Tokyo-3 for sure but it was rather large. The german girl started to get annoyed by walking so much but she didn't voice any complaints. She could tell that Shinji was really determined to find the woman she never really thought as a guardian. The way he clutched the red jacket to his body told her very clearly how much he cared for Misato. He practically slipped it on despite how drenched with the LCL it was.

"MISATO!" Shinji cried out one last time before groaning in frustration. "It'll be impossible to find her in this damn place!"

"Calm your ass down idiot." Asuka scolded him. "The only thing you're doing to yourself now is draining your energy." She pulled out an energy bar from the bookbag she had on and nudged him on the arm with it.

"What?" Shinji asked rather stupidly.

"It's for eating." Asuka explained to him slowly, the sarcasm dripping from her voice. "You haven't eaten anything since we gathered all these supplies from the gas station." When he took the energy bar from her hand and put it in his pocket she smacked his shoulder in irritation. "I said eat!"

"Alright!" Shinji snapped back at her, shoving his hand back in to his pocket to pull out the energy bar. He unwrapped it after fiddling with it for a moment and took a bite out of it before coughing from how dry it was. "God, these things are terrible."

"They're gonna give you an energy boost so finish it." Asuka told him sternly. She pulled out a bottle of water and handed it to him as well. "Drink this to wash it down, but not all of it. We need to share these if we wanna conserve them."

"Whatever." Shinji mumbled, taking the bottle from her. She heard the way he spoke to her and narrowed her eyes at him.

"Don't talk to me like that idiot. You've got no reason to be mad at me."

"I'm sorry but this is so frustrating! We found Misato's jacket so shouldn't this mean that she's nearby?!" Shinji looked into an alley they were about to pass and called to his guardian another time.

"Who knows, maybe it just floated along the current until it reached us."

"No...she has to be nearby."

"In any case we finally found ourselves somewhere to stay." Asuka said off handedly. "We need to break in to one of these buildings for tonight. Hopefully we might find some sort of convenience store here. They've go to have one." When Shinji didn't budge from his spot she grabbed on to his arm and pulled him along with her. "Come on already."

_But...I could've sworn I saw something in there. _Shinji thought to himself. There were two eyes staring back at him from the dark corner, but he wasn't sure if his mind was playing tricks on him or not. At the same time he wasn't sure if he even wanted to find out what it was. He focused back on Asuka who was saying something to him and simply replied, "Um, alright."

"Were you even paying attention to me?" Asuka asked.

"...Sorry, but not really." His answer brought out a few german rants from the girl that really started to make him wonder just what she was saying. If he was lucky maybe he would be able to convince her to give him lessons on the language. _Then again, I really shouldn't be thinking about such little things at a time like this. _His eyes wandered over to her hand still wrapped around his forearm and he started to blush. She was really starting to get comfortable with him wasn't she?

"Well, I'm her bitch anyway I guess." he muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Asuka asked him.

"Nothing." Shinji replied meekly, allowing her to lead him even deeper in to the city but before they went around the block he took one last glance at the alleyway and saw two red orbs. At that moment the image was burned in to his mind permenantly. He was going to investigate it later when he had the chance.

"Is something wrong with you?" Asuka asked, looking back at him.

"No."

"Then why are you slowing down?"

"Sorry about that."

"...Whatever." Asuka scoffed. "You know, right now I would kill to have some of that instant stuff Misato used to feed us. Can you believe that?"

"I can't argue with that." Shinji replied with a soft chuckle. "Maybe we might find some if we get to a store around here."

"Yeah, but we don't even know if there's still an electric power source running through this dump." Asuka started to frown. "Damn, this is starting to look pretty ugly."

"We don't need to be thinking negative right now."

"Hearing those words coming from you is quite surprising, Third Child." the german girl retorted with a grin. She stopped to get a look at the buildings across the street and gasped when she saw a plaza up ahead.

"Why don't you refer to me by my na-"

"THERE WE GO!" Asuka caught him off guard. Less than a second later Shinji found himself being pulled forward at a speed he didn't even think Asuka was capable of. She hopped on to the sidewalk when she got across the street, causing him to almost trip and she let him go, going ahead without him.

"Hey, wait for me dammit!" Shinji yelled frustratedly but the girl had already gotten to one of the stores in the plaza and started to break in. "...I guess those injuries wore off pretty quickly."

* * *

**_Back to Rei's party..._**

Kaji stared at the pale blue angel regarding her seriously as she did the same, looking back at him. Hikari was beggining to wonder if this was turning in to a staring contest but the former spy finally blinked and reached in to his desk drawer again. He pulled out a pistol and set it down on the desk before the two girls with a smirk.

"Heh, I always knew you had something for that Shinji Ikari." Kaji chuckled mishcievously. "I remember spying on you while he was in Unit-01 for a month and saying to myself, "This girl doesn't even know what she's experiencing right now." Kaji stood up from him seat and hid the pistol under his shirt. "The same could be said of poor little Asuka." Rei's eyes widened slightly at the very mention of her rival. "That same exact day I had a conversation with her regarding Shinji. She remained on that catwalk looking at that Eva like her whole world depended on it."

"She told you she liked Shinji?" Hikari asked, feeling a tingle of excitement. She didn't notice the way Rei glanced at her that very moment but she felt a little shiver run down her neck.

"Nope...she denied it as always." Kaji replied, observing a clip that was crusted with dirt. "But the look on her face was priceless." Kaji brushed off the dirt on the clip and shoved in in his pocket. "But unfortunately right now isn't the time for us to be having such leisure talk. By now someone outside must have been eavesdropping on us." He looked to Rei, kepping his eyes on the rifle that rested on her lap and asked, "Is that thing loaded?"

"No." Rei replied much to Kaji's dismay.

"Then this is going to be a bit harder that I anticipated." He looked at Hikari and offered her a smile. "I'll keep you safe young lady. As for you Ms. Ayanami, I'm sure you know how to take care of yourself."

Rei nodded.

"Then lets head out." Kaji handed the angel a knife from his back pocket and opened the door. "We need to act natural. Don't do anything unless they act against us first."

"Very well Mr. Kaji." Rei replied. Kaji nodded and lead the way out of the office for the two girls to follow. As they passed by the men guarding the supplies the former agent waved at them getting a few waves back in response, however, there was a different attitude about the way they went about it. The suspicion in their eyes were very clear.

"Where are you going, Kaji?" one of the men asked.

"To lead these young ladies somewhere to stay for the night." Kaji replied. "I'll be back after I'm done with them."

"...Alright." the man replied unconvincingly. When the trio left the storage building they started to walk a little faster. The crowd outside had dispersed so there weren't many people on the streets as it was earlier when the two young women arrived.

"This is starting to feel a little too easy." Kaji grumbled to himself, his eyeballs swiveling from side to side as he kept watch for any onlookers. When they reached the end of the block the storage building was on they came across a few survivors but they headed back in to their shelter when they got a glimpse of Rei.

"It looks like their fear is working to our advantage." Rei remarked, shaking off the feeling she felt when they looked at her so hatefully.

"Does it bother you Ayanami?" Hikari asked her companion.

"Not at all." Rei replied. "What they think of me is of no importance."

"Come on girls." Kaji whispered to them. "There's no time for idle chit chat." He suddenly stopped them with his arm and peered over to the end of the next block. There was a set of four guys hanging out just waiting.

"...Waiting for us most than likely." Kaji mused, taking the safety off his pistol. "Alright girls...the easy part is behind us now. The jeep is parked right over at that next block, and we have some company."

"I will go on ahead first." Rei told the spy.

"I can't let you do that." Kaji snapped at her.

"I can take care of myself." Rei pulled the rusty knife Kaji handed her out of her pocket and regarded it before turning back to him. "If they attack me I will do what is necessary. You need to save your ammunition."

"Rather straight foward Rei-chan."

"That is how I was trained." was Rei's final exchange before going ahead of them. Hikari looked on, not knowing how to feel after hearing the young woman say that.

"Is this what Asuka and Shinji had to go through too?" the freckled girl asked Kaji, pulling on his shirt.

"Unfortunately." Kaji replied before having Hikari back up around the corner with him to watch. "Lets see what our friend can do."

Rei strolled to the end of the next block and walked past the group of guys that were waiting for Kaji. She stopped to examine the military jeep, pleased to see that it was in good condition. The only question on her mind was: Why was it here in the first place? Kaji had the key but she never questioned how did he get his hands on them. As expected her thoughts were put aside when one of the men adressed her.

"Hey!" The blonde, spiky haired fellow called to her roughly. "You're that freaky looking girl who came to the town earlier aren't you?" He growled when Rei didn't even take the time to turn and answer. She simply began to examine the tires of the jeep to see if it was in the condition to drive. When he rushed over to her and grabbed her by the arm she brought her arm back and struck him in the face with a back hand.

"Shit!" he cried out, cupping his nose. The other guys took a step forward from their leaning posts on the wall and got ready to aprehend her. "The bitch is fiesty. That's for sure."

"Then she should be some mighty fun company." one of the other men said with a grin. He came at Rei, his arms out to grab her but she stepped forward and cuahgt him in the stomach with an elbow. When he doubled up for air she raised her foot in thei air quickly and brought it down upon his head. The man was instantly out cold. This made the blonde fellow pull out a knife and come at her but a gun shot rang through the air and he was down in a matter of seconds.

"What the fuck just happened?!" The bald man yelled in confusion when he saw the leader of their group go down. He turned around just in time to see Kaji deliver an uppercut to his jaw. Just as he staggered back Rei took him down with a leg sweep and cracked his neck. Hikar had to look the other way when Rei dealt with the last man standing while Kaji opened the door to the jeep and unlocked the other doors for them.

"Come on!" he called out to the girls when he saw a squad of other survivors heading in their direction when they heard the gun shot. Rei grabbed ahold of Hikari's arm and pulled her to the jeep before getting her inside. She would have done the same but one of the survivors, the brash girl from earlier reached Rei and grabbed on to her.

"You're not getting away!" she yelled in to Rei's ear but moments later she went silent when Rei head butted her. The angel opened the door to the back set and hopped in before Kaji floored the gas pedal to get moving, but some survivors reached the jeep, banging their fists against the doors and windows to break in.

"KAJI!" Hikari screamed when her window started to crack.

"Just calm down!" the spy yelled at her. The jeep started mving and the survivors were struggling to hold on and keep up with it but he managed to get some off and put distance between them. They were away from the town and out in to the wasteland once again. It was finally time to take a breather from the chaos that transpired earlier.

"The good news is we have more than half a tank of gas left." Kaji said with a grin. "The bad news is, I'm not sure where we're heading."

"What do you mean Mr. Kaji? Didn't you say that you knew the way to Tokyo?" Hikari asked, still trying to steady her heart from fear.

"It was a bluff Horaki." Rei informed her, looking out the window. "He only told them that he knew so they would accept him as their leader. Am I right Mr. Kaji?"

"On point, unfortunately." Kaji replied with a dull expression. "I stand firm with my staement when I said you were a straight forward young woman Rei. It's as shame to don't fare as well when it comes to matters of the heart."

"...I..." Rei felt her cheeks heating up much to her embarassment.

"Don't worry Rei. When I'm done coaching you, Shinji will be easy prey." Kaji said with a heart laugh, but he stopped ubruptly much to the girl's confusion when he saw something in the distance that didn't make him feel comfortable. There were three figures standing on a hill in the distance wearing black military uniforms. The one standing in the middle was the tallest while the other two shared the same height, slightly shorter.

"That doesn't look good." Kaji growled.

"What is it?" Rei asked.

"Take a look at those fellows." He replied pointing toward the figures on the hill. When Rei saw them her eyes narrowed in slight fear.

"It's him again." the angel muttered.

"What do you mean "Him" Ayanami?" Hikari asked, "You don't mean that guy that chased you before do you?!"

"GRAB ON TO SOMETHING!" Kaji suddenly yelled, turning the wheel quickly. Moments later there was an explosion behind them.

"GOD W-W-WHA...KAJI!" Hikari screamed.

"They just shot at us! Where the hell did they get a fucking rocket launcher from?!"

"Brace yourself!" Rei warned them when she saw one of the shorter soldiers take aim again. This time the explosion was nearby, sending the jeep crashing in to a nearby sand hump. Everyone rocked forward in their seats when the jeep crashed, momentairily stunned. Rei opened her door and fell out of the jeep hitting the unforgiving ground. She raised her head to look up at the opposing soldiers and found no one standing on the hill.

_They are coming for us! _Rei got back to her feet and pulled out her knife. She got in position to attack and before she could react one of the shorter shoulder came from behind her and tackled her to the ground. She rolled and got back to her feet from the unexpected attack and barely dodged a slash to the face. "Who are you?!" she demanded, ducking under another slash but the other short soldier rushed to her from her left side and she had to do a back flip, holding her knife between her teeth.

"_Target sighted."_ one of the short soldiers said aloud in a voice that made Rei shiver invouluntairily. The voice that the soldier spoke with was her own. "_Commencing termination." _The two soldiers zeroed in on her with their baldes poised for the strike but Rei threw her hands forward and in a frightening feat, discharged an At-field that...

"What?!" Rei watched with wide eyes as her At-Field was ripped throught when the soldiers expanded fields of their own. One of them jumped in the air and delivered a kick to her face making her almost lose her balance. She raised her head up just in time to see her other advisary try to cut her throat open. She grabbed on to the soldier's hand and twisted it in a swift motion that made an audible sickening crack. The other soldier tried to run in but she kicked in their kneecap and flung the soldier beside her in to them.

Claps...she heard someone clapping...

"It's him." she tunred her gaze away from her prior advisaries and looked to the tallest of the three. The same rogue soldier that attacked her in the alley of the first town she came across. There he stood looking as intimidating as ever. His long blade back at his side as though she never shattered it in to pieces. "Who are you?!"

She got no answer in return as she heard one of the soldiers coming from behind. She whipped around quickly, her right fist crashing in to the soldiers metal face plate and gasped when it ripped open. The soldier was stunned by the counter attack and simply took a few steps back before regaining their ground. The soldier carefully took off the damaged face plate and Rei's eyes met with two crimson orbs.

_It can't be... _Rei watched the soldier's azure hair flow with the breeze and took a step back. Then without a single groan or grunt the soldier locked her arm back in place and closed her hand in to a fist. "It's a clone. A clone of me!" Rei turned around, disregarding her mirror image and faced the tall soldier.

"...I won't believe it!" Rei nearly screamed.

"REI!" Kaji called to her from the jeep as he slowly got out.

"Get Ms. Horaki to safety!" Rei ordered him.

"What do you mean?! I'm not leaving without you!"

"Go now!" Rei yelled with emotions Kaji never thought she had. Her eyes were so intense that he was at a loss for words. Thne without another word to him Rei looked back at the main soldier and began to approach him. The soldier merely looked back at her.

"Who are you?!" Rei demanded of the soldier. "Tell me who you are!"

"So the hunter now becomes the hunted. Is that so pilot Ayanami?" The soldier asked in a gruff commanding voice. Another familiar voice that made Rei stop in her tracks. "Come now clone!" At his command the clone that was behind Rei returned to his side and he began to walk away. Rei took that as her cue to pursue him but the clone rushed her and took her down to the ground.

"_You will not reach the commander." _the clone told her, raising a fist to strike her but Rei caught her fist and kicked her off. When the clone hit the ground Rei was back on her feet running after the main soldier. He was in the distance mounting his ATV to her loss but she continued to run to him.

"Commander Ikari!" She screamed before she was taken down from behind again. She tried to get the clone off of her again but the clone was relentless. Then without warning she heard something screech through the air.

"REI!" Kaji ran to her but before he could even get in three steps she was engulfed in an explosion.

* * *

**_Returning to Shinji and Asuka..._**

The convenience store was filled with the sounds of light snores from Asuka Soryhu as she slept on the floor beside Shinji. Eventually Shinji awoke and sat up looking at his companion to see if he didn't disturb her. To his luck she was in a deep sleep so she wouldn't be bothered by anything he did.

"Alright then." Shinji whispered to no one in particular as he carefully shifted the covers off of his body and rolled away from his sleeping partner. He got to his feet, walking to the window Asuka broke to make a passage inside for them and stepped out in to the parking lot of the plaza. It was raining so Shinji zipped Misato's old jacket and crossed the street over to the alley he was investigating earlier. He stood in front of the dark passage and squinted his eyes to see if he could get a good look of what was inside from where he stood.

"It's too dark to see a thing." Shinji muttered. He took a deep breath and let it out before taking a few steps forward in to the alley. There was a rumble of thunder from up above as the rain got stronger. He wiped his hair away from his face and stopped in his tracks when he saw a cardboard box near the corner drenched with the rain.

"Hello?" At his nervous greeting the box seemed to tremble. He took a few more steps further and called out a second time but there was no reponse this time. Finally he proceeded to walk over to the drenched box and gasped when he saw what was inside.

"R-R-Rei?" Shinji stammered, falling to his knees when they gave out from shock. She was completely naked and shivering from the cold, but her eyes gazed back at him intensely. He crawled forward to her but she cowered against the corner. "Rei, don't you recognize me?!"

She didn't answer...

He held out his hand for her to grab on to but she curled up against the corner of the box, shivering. Something about her seemed so lost and innocent and it was beggining to break his heart to see her looking so frightened by him. He unzipped his jacket and reached for her, trying to force a smile to relax her. Finally she stopped curling in the corner and reached out to him somewhat curiously with one of her hands. She touched his face, causing Shinji to sigh from her delicate hands and she carressed his cheek.

"...I finally found you." Shinji whispered to her.

...How wrong he was...

**_To be continued..._**


	8. Azure Wolf

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion or any of its characters…

**_Angels in Despair: The records of Rei Ayanami_**

**_Chapter Seven: Departing _**

By Traingham

* * *

**_3I Survival tip number seven: _****_Do not be lead astray by false hopes. Such things are only destined to be crushed._**

* * *

She seemed so delicate; lost by the distant look in her eyes yet at the same time Shinji couldn't help but feel something dangerous about her. He could still feel her hands caressing his cheek despite the constant pounding of cold rain against his skin. He was already shivering from being drenched and crawling in to the box with blue haired angel started to become rather tempting even though he inwardly saw something wrong about it. He finally placed his hand over her's and gently removed her hand from his face. 

"Ayanami?" Shinji said her name but she didn't respond to it. She seemed to be so much more interested in his hand as she took the hand he used to remove her own into both of her hands to examine it. She exhibited a sense of innocence in her behavior. Immediately Shinji could tell that something was off, however, he wasn't so willing to crush his own hopes. He was still willing to pass off the girl before him as the enigma from his past.

"Have you lost your memory?" Shinji asked her only to get a stare in response. "Rei? Can you even talk?" Just as before, the pale blue girl said nothing. She seemed content to simply stare at him and it was serving to frustrate the young man. "Why won't you say anything?!"

She said nothing...

"Dammit." Shinji growled once he heard a rumble of thunder. If she stayed in the box any longer she would probably die from the cold. " Come on." He grabbed her hand and pulled but she stiffened once again and refused to budge anywhere. She turned away from him and curled up, snatching her hand away from him. This wasn't going to work out for anyone. Shinji feared that he might have lost her trust already. "I'm not going to hurt you but if you stay in this alley I can't guarantee your safety. Come on!"

He removed his jacket leaving himself half naked again and reached out for her again. This time when she stiffened he wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her out of the box despite her struggling. He started to feel dirty with the way he was handling her since she was wearing nil and her light cries were beginning to work on his nerves. "This is for your own good Ayanami!" When he had a good hold on her he wrapped the red flight jacket around her body and zipped it. She started to kick and flail her arms underneath the jacket but he hefted her in to his arms and made his way back to the convenience store.

_Oh man...what is she going to do if I let her go? Is she just going to run back to the alley again. _Then something else came to mind that Shinji had not counted on before. _Then again...what'll Asuka do when she suddenly finds Ayanami in the convenience store._ _She still doesn't seem to be that stable... _The young Ikari started to feel sick in the stomach as he imagined the entire mess that may be awaiting him. The screams of terror and maybe even the blood...he was going to have to put himself in harms way if something went wrong and he knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Rei" on the other hand had stopped struggling and settled down in his arms almost as though she had forgotten everything that transpired in the alley earlier. Her stare started to unsettle Shinji though since she was much closer and he could see her arms trying to break free under the tightness of the jacket.

"Well at least you're calm now." He sighed with a light smile on his face. In all honesty Shinji was feeling slightly better now that he had "Rei" along with him. He feared that she would never come back and the sight of her made him feel that he'd made some progress in the wasteland after all. The absence of Misato crushed him completely. He was in desperate need of meeting with her. His guilt was slowly eating him up inside from his last moments with her. "If only I hadn't been so stubborn with her...maybe I could have avoided all of this." He looked to the store that he and Asuka were staying in. "Maybe I could have saved Asuka from going through so much pain."

**_"Your first time in the Eva...were you scared?"_**

"Maybe I could've saved you...Touji." Shinji let his head hang for a while as he tried to keep in the tears that were threatening to be released. He looked up to regard "Rei" for a moment when he felt that he managed to recompose himself and her crimson orbs unnerved him. They seemed so cold and yet he felt some fascination behind them. "Ayanami..." He stopped when he felt a tear slip down his cheek. "...I'll never be as strong as you."

* * *

The Commander watched the sand mist clear away with the breeze from the explosion caused by the rocket launcher and shook his head. This wasn't over. He knew that such tactics wouldn't send Rei to her grave. In fact he wouldn't allow himself to believe it for a moment. He wouldn't be satisfied if he eliminated the angel so easily. There was still so much that he wanted to put her through before he settled everything. 

"No sight of the target." The clone shouldering the rocket launcher said in a near monotone voice before setting the large weapon down with the help of the other clone that was standing beside the ATV.

"We haven't eliminated her." The Commander said as he gestured for his two subordinates to follow him. "We have only succeeded in getting her attention. Now she won't be able to rest until she has found me. She won't stop until she is sure that I'm dead." The smirk that crossed his lips was concealed behind his metal face plate."I want her to live with uncertainty." With those words he walked away from Kaji and Hikari's view with the clones. When the spy heard them ride off he ran to where Rei stood and got down to his knees before digging through the sand. It was far too early for her to be gone.

"Rei!" Kaji growled as his hands went for plunge after plunge in hopes that he would be able to find her beneath the surface, but with the hot grains burning him he felt that it was hopeless. "You young fool. So much potential...what were you thinking." He looked over his shoulder to see Hikari on the ground as well; her face bursting in tears as she sobbed at the loss of her comrade. She wouldn't have ever gotten this far without her and for her to leave so horribly was too much for her accept. Kodama, and Nozomi were nowhere in sight, and she wasn't sure if she would ever see them again. Rei was the only person she ever felt safe with since the time she left the town she had awakened in. She was her security.

"This isn't right!" The freckled girl cried out with a sob. "It shouldn't have ended this way for her. She shouldn't have died like that!"

"It can't be helped." Kaji stood up, brushing his hands off on his pants. "But we can't just stand here mourning over our loss, Horaki. We're sitting targets if we don't get moving." He reached for her but she slapped his hand away defiantly as she looked up to face him. Her face was red and swollen from the tears.

"How could you be...so cold?" Her voice quivered angrily.

"...I know how you feel. I've lost friends, but you have to understand that this isn't helping." Kaji placed his hands on her shoulder and tired to stand her up but she jerked away from him clumsily and almost fell over to the side. "Stop it! Come on!" He reached for her again but some coughs from behind him made them freeze. There covered with sand stood Rei Ayanami, getting to her feet with what strength she had left in her. Immediately Hikari stumbled to her feet and pushed past Kaji to reach Rei. The pale blue angel hunched over with sharp breaths, and attempted to straighten herself, however, the wear on her body proved to be too overwhelming. She fell back to the ground and rolled on to her back.

"Rei!" Hikari held her up in her arms in relief and brought her close. "Thank god, you're alive! I thought we lost you!"

"Unbelievable..." Kaji couldn't believe that she survived the explosion.

"The Commander..." Rei muttered with anther cough. "He is still alive."

"What do you mean?" Hikari asked, still unable to control her tears.

"I can't allow him to stay alive." She managed to sit up. "Let me go Horaki."

"What are you doing?" Hikari stood up with Rei and reluctantly let go of her. She watched Rei turn to the hill that the soldiers were standing moments ago and a deep fear struck her. She wasn't seriously planning on coming after them was she? Her body clearly wasn't in the condition to push itself any harder than it already had earlier. She started to become very aggressive when she saw the face of the soldier that attacked her, and it was a side that Hikari had never seen from her. "Rei, what are you doing?"

"I mustn't allow him to go on." Rei replied.

"You can't be serious." Kaji finally said with a look of disbelief plastered over his face. "You aren't going after him, Ayanami! You can't seriously be planning on chasing after that madman after seeing what he was capable of! We should just move on and continue traveling to Tokyo-3."

"Mr. Kaji, you will have to go on without me." Rei told him.

"WHAT?!" Hikari was taken aback by her sudden words. "What are you saying."

"Make sure that Horaki gets to the city safely. I trust that you will watch over her."

"HEY! You think I'm just going to let you go like this?!" Kaji yelled, walking to her. "I'm not going to let you wander this wasteland alone! Like hell!" He tried to grab her arm but his hand was shocked by some invisible force. He snatched his hand away quickly from the unexpected shock and took a step back.

"Do as I say, Ryoji. I'm capable of going on alone." Rei regarded Kaji with a piercing stare that made him feel weak. "I am the Commander's target. If you travel with me the both of you will only be in further danger. What just transpired moments ago is proof of that."

"Are you seriously telling me that Ikari was that main soldier? This just doesn't make any sense! Why would he target you of all people, and how was he capable of getting his hands on such equipment so easily?!"

"The two of us went our separate ways shortly after you were killed." Rei explained coldly. " Things escalated after the death of the fourteenth angel and the Commander began to implement his plans when the Lance of Longinus was lost. He had to act quickly before the Second Angel became fully aware and Seele had begun to grow desperate as well."

"Where are you going with this?" asked Kaji.

"When the time came that he would reach his goal I betrayed him." Rei's words came unexpectedly to the spy. He always viewed her as the Commander's obedient little soldier and the thought of her disobeying him was something he couldn't process. Her words made sense however. That could be the only reason that the Commander was after her life. For her to bring him down at the very moment that he had been waiting for ever since the E project was started; It could drive any person over the edge to see so many years go to waste.

"So you finally broke free of your binding threads." The spy mused much to Rei's irritation. "I underestimated you girl. I guess you really are as strong as Shinji says. Now...I still don't feel that letting you go is right but if it's Gendo that you're after then I'm wiping my hands clean of this business."

"Mr. Kaji, you can't be serious! You're really going to let her go just like that?!" Hikari protested.

"There's nothing I can do. I've already died once before and I don't feel like risking it again." Kaji said simply. "The girl is pretty stubborn if you ask me, and nothing I say is going to change her mind. Besides...a human can't go on in these conditions but..." He turned back to Rei. "...You're not human aren't you, Ayanami?"

"What?" Hikari turned to Kaji, staring at him as though he'd grown another head on his shoulders. "What are you talking about? This isn't the time to be talking such nonsense."

"Ms. Horaki," Kaji turned to Hikari with a serious expression gracing his features. "I'm sure you're familiar with the term, "Angel", aren't you?"

"...Yes."

"That is what I'm meaning to say."

"An angel?!" Hikari couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You mean like those monsters that attacked the city before? How could she possibly be-"

"It's true." Rei cut her off.

"...You're an angel?"

"Yes."

"But...weren't you a pilot?" Hikari asked, doubting that she heard those words slip from the cold young woman's mouth.

"Yes, I was."

"You fought alongside Shinji and Asuka!"

"I'm an artificial angel. I was created to serve a purpose and I carried it out." Rei finally turned to face her. "Kaji speaks the truth."

"But you never told me..."

"I didn't feel that it was necessary to reveal that information to you." Rei replied quickly. Had one been paying enough attention when she replied, they would have been able to detect something within Rei that was rare to see. Her voice held irritation. She clearly wanted to end the subject at hand.

"But, don't you trust me?" The freckled girl questioned, her voice cracking slightly.

"Tell me, Horaki." Rei suddenly addressed her. "When you looked into Lillith's eyes, what did you see?"

"Excuse me?" Hikari regarded Rei in confusion. "Why?"

"Tell me." Rei pushed her. "As you look at me now...are you able to tell the difference now that you know what I am?" Rei's eyes narrowed slightly in a manner that made Hikari's heart skip a beat. This intensity that she held her with now scared her. The freckled girl was unsure how to answer her question. When she looked at Lillith, she was far too afraid to see anything more than a twisted mirror of her azure haired companion.

"Ayanami...I..." Hikar stumbled over her words unsteadily. She felt her throat closing up, and before long she went silent. "I'm sorry."

"This is why I can no longer keep you with me." Rei told her, the look in her eyes softening somewhat. "Mr. Kaji." Rei turned to the older man. She wasn't sure what she saw in the spies brown eyes as he kept eye contact with her. He was perhaps as good at concealing his emotions as she was, but there was a faint gleam. He probably could already tell that this decision was made already. There was no changing her mind.

"Yes, Rei?" Kaji asked as he pulled his hands out of his pockets.

"We may cross paths again someday in the future." Rei began. "My only hope is that Horaki is still alive and well when we do." Rei turned away from him and began walking away, but not before saying, "Otherwise I may kill you."

**_To Be continued..._**

* * *

_You have my apologies for the obvious lack of charm and effort placed in this chapter. To be honest, I just found this chapter unfinished in my saved documents and decided to drag the story out of it's grave. I hope to breathe more life into this series in the future._

_So let me get things straight..._

_1) Lillith is a deranged angel who obviously wants Rei dead. My idea was to make her the "Rival" in this fic. She'll probably have some meaningful confrontations with Rei in future chapters._

_2)Okay...This Rei clone that Shinji has found will play an important role as well. Aside from stirring some tension between Shinji, and the gradually recovering Asuka, she'll be causing some significant trouble for Shinji in his attempts to be reunited with his friends._

_3)So Gendo is revealed to be the masked man. See, I know I was going somewhere with this...I just don't remember where..._

_4)Well, I better get to brainstorming, huh?_

**_Traingham..._**


End file.
